A few times in my life I've had moments of absolute clarity. When for a few brief seconds the silence drowns out the noise and I can feel rather than think, and things seem so sharp and the world seems so fresh. It's though it had all just come into existence. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I have lived my life on these moments. They pull me back to the present, anI realize that everything is exactly the way it was meant to be.
I was sitting at home and had a profound experience. I experienced, in all of my being, that someday I was going to die, and it wouldn't be like it had been happening, almost dying but somehow staying alive, but I would just die! And two things would happen right before I died: I would regret my entire life; I would want to live it over again. This terrified me. The thought that I would live my entire life, look at it and realize I blew it, forced me to do somethng with my life.
I'd like to repeat the advice that I gave you before, in that I think you really should make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unppy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of securiy, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to teh adventurous spirit within a man than secure future. The very basic core of a man's spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy o life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is nt greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.